Loki in Wonderland
by Hel-Goddess-of-the-Underworld
Summary: Loki makes the mistake of -talking- to Verdandi when she's in a bad mood. Now she's started a game using the gang as characters and poor Loki's gonna lose his mind. Some HeimdallxLoki but it's not focused on them.


"Yamino…

"_Yamino…. I'm just gonna go for a walk alright?"  
"Just come back before dinner."  
"Of course!" _

First mistake.

--  
_"Hi Verdandi! You're looking lovely as usual."  
"… Your buddy Thor doesn't think that."  
"Th-Thor?!"  
_--

Second mistake.

--  
_"We-well I'm sure he does… he just doesn't say anything…because your beauty is breathtaking!"  
"…Then how is it _you're_ able to speak…Hm…?"  
"Oh Verdandi you know that one."  
"Oh yes… Of _course_ I do… Listen, I'm in a surprisingly good mood so I'm going to play a game with you."  
"Good mood…?"  
_--

Third Strike. You're out.

--

The next thing Loki knew he was sitting next to a tree and he was very, _very_, tired.  
He glanced up groggily to see Verdandi still there only her attire had changed and she was holding a book and reciting a poem. The poem just went over the little boys head though.  
His own clothes were upsetting him. There were ruffles. And his pants must have puffed up or something because his hands that were on his lap were a good several inches higher then they should have been.  
He still had his bow… but it was smaller… and the collar of his top only came to his shoulders.  
Now if only he had the strength to look down…  
He tried to see and saw nothing but blue and sighed. He was too tired…

Verdandi was still talking but to him it was coming out all meshed together as his senses were obviously leaving him…what was that furry thing curled up next to him? Was that Fenrir?

He shut his eyes for a moment and then shot right up at the sound of a bell.  
Was Verdandi screwing with him or what?!

"Oh no…!"  
Loki pushed himself up off the tree and noticed Fenrir had launched up as well, quietly though… (Obviously this couldn't be the real Fenrir.)

But what shocked him the most was he saw Yamino running towards them.  
Only… he was small. Very small Yamino… About half of Loki's size actually… And he did look kind of chubby…  
"Oh my god…They chibified Yamino…." Loki murmured before standing up and walking towards his son- well, at least half way. Yamino was still running towards them.

"Yamino- its okay, we'll fix this. Alright, calm down." Loki started but was shocked when Yamino ran _past_ him and towards the bushes and trees that Loki knew had _not _been there before!  
"Yamino…?! Yamino where are you going?!"

Loki started to run after his son and realizing what ever it was he was dressed in was rather hard to move in he finally decided to look down.

"……………………………………….."

He had to stop momentarily just so he wouldn't trip on something.  
Why was he in a blue and white maids dress?

"I'm late! I'm late! I'm late for the mail-order convention!"  
Fenrir chased after Yamino who was running off with little white rabbit ears on his head and Loki felt his brain virtually explode.

"I guess this means I have to follow him…" He murmured to himself before running after his two sons.

Less then a minute later Loki found himself falling through the rabbit hole and so it began.  
The _quiet_ Fenrir stayed behind.  
Damn.

"woo… pretty colors…" Loki murmured to himself while falling down the hole.  
"This scene really is too long-- Yamino!"

Loki thumped his head down onto the tile floor- that really shouldn't have been there that low beneath the ground- and watched as Yamino, his little white rabbit ran through _one_ door.

Of course, when Loki managed to get to his feet and open this _one_ door, there was another behind it.  
And Another.  
And Another.  
and-

"GOD DAMN IT! I BLAST YOU WITH LAEVATIN NOW!"

And so he did.  
And through the many doors he went while getting a bit of charcoal in his hair.

"Honestly… Verdandi must love this movie…" He sighed when he came out to the room with the odd colored walls and the door behind the curtain.

He walked up to the door and poked at the knob to find quite shockingly that it was pink.

"Don't twist my nose like that!" The doorknob then looked shocked and its little pig like sounds came out frantically. "Oh my god I'm talking! Wait. No. That's normal here." Gullinbrusti said to himself before looking up at Loki.  
"What do you want?"

Loki raised a brow and sat down on the floor.  
"I want to find my son who just ran through here."  
"How can a girl your age have a son!?"  
"…. Can you just let me through?"  
Gullinbrusti looked annoyed at having the subject changed but sighed, "You can't fit through here. You're too big!"  
"Then how am I supposed to get through!?" Loki shouted suddenly. Verdandi was gonna get it later.

"Well, you could try the potion on the table."

The table and potion dropped out of nowhere and Loki walked up to it.  
"Judging by the fact Verdandi made this world I wouldn't be surprised if this was poisoned… or worse… gave me boobs."  
Gullinbrusti raised a brow- Don't ask. "What was that?"  
"Nothing… Talking to myself… All sane people do it you know." Loki stated a little louder before picking up the bottle and raising it to his lips. "I have no other choice…" And he drank it.

"Maybe I drank a little too much…" Loki squeaked when he realized how small he had gotten…  
"Well at least I'm the right size…" The emerald eyed _boy_ walked over to the door and sighed. "Can I go through now?"

Gullinbrusti blinked and then burst out laughing. "Oh! I forgot to tell you! I'm locked!"  
Loki narrowed his eyes and summoned his staff again. "You lock? I blast."  
The pigs eyes went wide and he shook his head as best a doorknob could and glanced up at the table again.

"N-no! The key's right up there!"

Loki turned around and saw the key materialize out of nowhere.  
"That was not there before! And I'm too small to reach it now you dumb ass!"  
"Well you could try the box…"  
"You know… I'm really sick of things just materializing out of nowhere… This can't be healthy." Loki murmured as he thumbed around the box of cookies that had just appeared before him.  
He picked a cookie up and growled something inaudible and wonderfully colorful under his breath before taking a bite of it and growing incredibly large.  
"And there is no more of the shrinky potion left… right?" Loki hissed, kicking the doorknob in the face.  
Gullinbrusti squealed in annoyance and pointed out the bottle again.  
"Lovely…." The ginger haired boy picked up the bottle again, never necessarily needing the key, and drank it.

"I'm just gonna blast you open instead."  
_  
Hopefully Freyr isn't in this world… or he'll probably kill me for breaking his pig._

He'd been walking… and somehow ended up floating away in the bottle of the shrinky potion in a large sea.  
How this happened? Verdandi wanted to keep going with this wonderland theme apparently…

"Oh god Mayura stop singing…" Loki found himself murmuring absentmindedly, just as a wave came up over his head and he came pouring out of the bottle onto the sand.

Mayura was standing up on a rock playing with a campfire while strange creatures danced/ran around the rock.  
"Oh Loki…! You'll never get dry that way!" Just as she said this another wave came crashing in and everyone below the rock got soaked.  
"How could I possibly get dry like this…?!"  
"Well I'm dry." Mayura pouted. "You have to run around with them. Go! Don't be a party pooper Loki."  
Loki's eye twitched as another wave came in and he found himself being carried by one of the monsters.

He sat there for a moment, cursing himself, when he saw Yamino turn up on an umbrella.

"I'm late! I'm late!" The snake with the rabbit ears on his head shouted, before running off again.

"Ack! Yamino! Let me go you weird creature thing you!"  
"You're not gonna get dry like that Loki!"

But Loki ignored her and jumped off of the creature and into the woods after his son.

"HOLY CRAP…! WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO YOU!?" Loki shrieked.

He'd apparently lost Yamino in the woods and went to looking around trees and bushes before he walked right into _Tweedle Dee _and_ Tweedle Dum_...

"Urd! Skuld!" Loki squeaked.

"How rude!" Skuld stated dramatically.  
"Somebody doesn't know how to properly visit someone." Urd nodded.  
"We shall have to teach him some manners."

A good hour later Loki was dizzy and ready to fall over.  
"Just let me leave!" He shouted suddenly when Urd and Skuld stopped him yet again before another pass through the trees. Urd blinked. "Why?"  
"….Because I need to get out of this dream!"  
"Why?" Skuld stated.  
"….Because this is fricken insane!"  
"Why?" They both barked.  
Loki twitched and raised his hand ready to summon his staff again when Skuld whispered something to Urd.  
"If she's so upset with this world why is she here?"  
"Must be curious… remember who else was curious?"  
"Ah… The oysters….The oysters where curious."

Urd and Skuld looked shocked and pulled apart with a sad sigh.  
"Oh! The poor oysters…!" They cried.  
Loki sighed and turned to look at them again. "What happened to the oysters…?"  
"Oh you wouldn't want to know about that." Skuld murmured.  
"You're much to busy." Urd nodded.  
Loki twitched again. "Fine… You know what? I don't want to know about the fricken oysters." He stated, and started walking off again.

"Well! It's the story of the carpenter and the walrus."  
"…Or the curious oysters…!"

God damn it.  
The scene seemed to melt around him and he saw Kotaru and Narugami walking along the beach.

"Kotaru…! We have to work on cleaning this beach."  
"WORK!? Uh… no…" Kotaru whacked Narugami with a cane he pulled out of nowhere and he went flying towards the water where he saw the oysters, each with a separate teenage girls face on it.

"Oh… food…" Narugami laughed when he brought his head out of the water.  
Kotaru blinked at him and walked towards the ocean.  
"Oh…Food…How convenient…" All the girls coed and giggled at the site of the blond and Kotaru smiled charmingly at them.

"Hello ladies like to spend some time with me?" Kotaru grinned and the girls smiled and followed him out of the water.

"Good girls."  
Narugami glared at him and turned around to start picking up random pieces of wood. He then pulled a script out of his pocket and raised a brow.  
"I'm supposed to build this magically tiny yet spacious shack in about three seconds…?! Okay Verdandi. I'm _sorry_ for what ever it is I did to you…but please- AHH!!" Just then lightning struck and Thor was where it hit.  
First there was the incredibly pain and then Thor sat there and sighed. "It's just cruel to use my own element against me you know…" He whimpered before picking up the hammer and nails and getting to work. It took him a little longer but he managed to cut it down in a few minutes… Maybe the electric shock had energized him as well as depressed him.

Meanwhile, Kotaru flirted with the girls and when the building was done he happily lead them into the shack.

They all sat down to dinner and Narugami was asked to go get the bread.  
He glared at them all before wondering off to go get it as he was the only one that knew how the story was going to end. He made sure to pop his head out just before Kotaru could try and eat one of the oysters and made some random comment about the food.  
Kotaru nodded absentmindedly before Thor ran off back to the kitchen and Kotaru picked up all the little oysters in his arms.

"Dinner's all for me…" He looked up thoughtfully though. "Damn… I'm gonna get fat." He pouted before looking down at the oysters again.  
"Oh well. That girl with the bell is kind of scary. So! What ever…"

Narugami came out and asked for the oysters and when he got no answer he looked up at Kotaru who had the shells piled in front of him.

"Eheh… I was hungry?"  
"Ya. I know you were hungry. And now I get to whack you with Mjollnir."

The scene melted away and Skuld and Urd smiled.

"Another story! Another!" Skuld giggled.  
Urd rolled her eyes but she started dancing and singing with her little sister anyway.

Loki ignored them.  
"Ya. That was amusing. If I find Narugami again I know he and Kotaru are actually in their right mind…Alright. I'm leaving now. Bye girls…" He murmured to himself as the other two obviously weren't listening.  
He tripped on trough a few more trees and came to a bright village setting.

"Spica…! Spica…!"  
"Yamino!" Loki shouted suddenly when he heard Yamino shouting his mother's name.  
He ran towards the house he had heard the sound from just as Yamino ran out of the house.

At the site of Loki though, he ran back towards him.  
"Spica…! What are you doing out here Spica…?" Yamino started. Loki raised a brow.  
"Now I'm Spica?"  
"I can't find my name tag for the convention! Go inside and find it for me!"  
Loki glared at his son as he was shoved into the house. "Now I'm taking orders from you!? No. I want to go home!"  
But the door slammed shut and Yamino was waiting outside.

Loki growled something inaudible under his breath again and started searching the house for the bloody name tag.  
He walked into a brightly colored room- as every room in the house was brightly colored- and realized he was hungry.  
"Fuck. Just watch. They're gonna have those stupid 'try me' cookies now aren't they!?" Loki cursed. And just then he saw the box of cookies sitting on the dresser.

"Ugg… fine… The cookies are supposed to make me bigger right… maybe it will be wiser if I got out of the house and ate it." He picked up the cookie and brought it up to his mouth to look at it closer.  
Unfortunately there was a great crash from outside that alarmed him so much he jumped and he ended up swallowing the tiny cookie.  
"Fucking hell."

Loki heard Yamino shout about how long it was taking by the point where his head hit the ceiling.  
"I'm gonna break the house and then Yamino's gonna wig out call me a monster and ask someone to try and exterminate me. Lovely."

As this was done (As you can tell I'm getting incredibly irritated with how long this is taking…)  
Loki twitched when he heard Mayura's voice giggling about how mysterious the monster was.

"So you'll get the monster out right?" Yamino asked.  
Mayura blinked at him and laughed. "Uh… no…? We'll get someone else to do it! Narugami!"

Loki blinked and tried to see out the window when he heard the boy's name.  
Maybe Narugami, now that he wasn't excluded to the dream within the dream, could help him?  
Narugami checked his script again and sighed. "Yes Mayura?"  
Mayura smiled. "Ever been in a chimney before?"  
"A few of my part time jobs have asked me of this ya."  
"Alright then, go in there and pull the monster out of the chimney." Mayura giggled and pushed him up to the house. The Ladder he'd been holding was fixed up to lean against the chimney and he started up.  
He choked when he saw Loki though.  
"Loki!" He shrieked almost falling down the ladder.  
Mayura caught him with a surprisingly odd strength for a girl her age compared to Narugami and walked up the ladder with him.  
"Aw Now, now, no need to be afraid Narugami" She went all the way to the top and stuffed him into the chimney.

"Yes! I'm gonna be able to talk to NaruKami now!" Loki nodded, shaking the house a bit. Just then Thor came crashing down the chimney and the soot tickled Loki's senses.  
"Shit. I'm gonna sneeze." And he did.  
Narugami went flying out of the chimney and into the sky.

Mayura and Yamino watched him disappear into the clouds and Mayura murmured a slight prayer while Loki sighed.  
"Sorry Naru…"

"Now what?!" Yamino asked desperately.  
Mayura shrugged. "Uhm… I dunno…" She pulled a match out of nowhere and stared at it for a moment before giggling again.  
"I know! We'll burn down your house and the monster!"  
Yamino nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes! We'll burn the house and the monster- wait. The house…?!"  
Mayura got to work picking up all the wood around the yard to build up at the bottom of the house while Loki was starting to get a little alarmed.

"No! Mayura! What are you doing with my mail-order genuine Tiki hut torches?!" Yamino shrieked disapprovingly.  
Mayura went on with her business, ignoring Yaminos protests and Loki's growing concern.

"How am I getting out of this…?" Loki muttered to himself. He looked out the window and saw that there were carrots growing in the field.  
"If I eat something maybe I'll shrink again…" He sighed and reached out with one of his currently huge hands and picked up a carrot before Yamino could stop him- as he did try to stop him.  
Loki was forced to pick up his squirming tiny son as he needed the carrot.  
"I need to eat something Yamino."  
"Well you're not going to eat me!" Yamino shouted waving the carrot like a sword.  
Loki raised a brow. "Well of course not! I need the carrot." He barked, before raising his head and biting the carrot.

Yamino squeaked, thinking that his hand had been bitten off before Loki began to shrink and dropped Yamino onto the ground where he landed with his pocket watch out on his hand.

Yamino glanced at the watch and jumped up dramatically running towards the door again.  
"I'm late! Mail-order convention! Wait for me!" Yamino squeaked before running out of the house.

Loki meanwhile was the size of a mouse and running across the room towards the door.  
"No! Yamino you will get me out of this world _now!_" He hissed, but Yamino was long gone.  
He walked past Mayura who was still trying to light the fire under the house as her match hadn't burnt it well enough and she didn't have anymore so just to amuse her- and perhaps himself a little more, he stopped and poked her, pulling out Laevatein.

"Oh! Loki. You're tiny- Hey, do you have a light?"  
"Actually I do."

_Let's burn down Yamino's imaginary house…Just because I need to take my frustration out on _something…

(Now I as author have ever right to skip scenes so Good bye flowers! I found you boring in the movie and can't think of anything interesting enough to mess around with, with all those fricken flowers- there are just _too_ _many_ of them! NO WAY!)  
(Ps: Although Heimdall would have made a great PMS-ing flower….)  
"I'm not a fricken weed! I think you guys have had enough of that anyway… fricken stoners."

_Pretty smoke clouds…_  
Loki murmured to himself as he continued trudging through the grass and looked up to see nothing but smoke in the shape of oddly deformed letters.

And was that- No…  
No… It couldn't be… Verdandi would do _that_…not _her_...

Loki walked off towards the sound of the familiar voice and in the direction that the smoke was coming from and he was met face to face with his pink haired daughter holding onto a hookah and humming a rather odd song.

"And I thought the flowers were bad… Hel! Put that down that's bad for you!"

Hel glanced at him and raised a brow. "Excuse me…? Who are you?"  
"Oh dear lord… Hel… Tell me you're sane in this thing."  
"Nope Daddy. I'm not sane. Now who are you?"  
"But you just called me daddy!"  
"Because I'm not sane. Now recite."  
"Say what now?"  
"Nope! It goes like this daddy" Hel smiled.

_How does the little crocodile improve his shining tail  
and pour the water of the Nile on ever golden scale.  
How cheerfully he seems to grin,  
how neatly spreads his claws,  
and welcomes little fishes in  
with Gentle smiling jaws  
_  
"That's... wonderful… what does it have to do with anything…?" Loki smiled patiently at his daughter as she glared at him and pouted.  
"I fixed it myself."  
"Of course you did darling…"  
"Now who are you!?"

Loki sighed.  
"Oh I give up… just behave yourself alright?" He murmured before walking off through the grass again.  
Hel's lovely green irises widened and she climbed up a rather large blade of grass, "Oh wait! Father! Father I have something I need to tell you! Come back…!"  
Loki sighed.  
His daughter was calling him…  
_Maybe I should go back…_

And so he turned around and started back to find his baby girl.  
"Hel…?"  
By the time he made it back Hel was laying on her back with her hookah and glaring at the sky.

"Daddy left me alone. Daddy is a jerk."  
"Yes… Daddy is horrible, and daddy is sorry. Now what is it that you wanted to say?"

Hel glared at him as she sat upright and took another huff of her hookah.  
"What does daddy want currently?"

Loki raised a brow.  
"Well… It would be nice to be taller…"  
"Why?"  
"Because… Being this size kind of sucks… The flowers can beat me up."  
Hel of course wasn't paying attention to the last bit. "OH! So being my size sucks?! Daddy is so horrible!" She shouted, her face getting red in her anger. She started puffing on her hookah again drastically before a smoke cloud appeared.

"Oh Hel! That really isn't healthy stop it!" Loki shouted over the haze of her huffing and he blew the smoke away.  
And she was gone.  
"No… Hel…?" He looked around. "Hel!?"  
"But I have a few words of advice…" her voice sounded from above him.  
Loki glanced up and saw his daughter with nice dark green butterfly wings coming out of her back.  
"One side makes you grow taller and the other makes you grow smaller!"  
Loki glanced at her skeptically, "What do you mean?"  
"The mushroom of course…! Now Goodbye father…!" She mumbled loudly before fluttering off.

"Lovely…" he picked at the mushroom until he had a piece from each side in his hands and with a sigh he took a bite from one side.

After growing rather large and having a fight with a bird he bit the other one and shrunk back to about three inches.  
"Alright… All in moderation now…"  
And finally Loki found himself back in the right size.  
"Now _what…!_"

He walked towards the fork in the road- or the path or what ever it was he was on and glanced at the trees.  
How could anyone possibly navigate themselves around here?!

And why do they have to keep singing!?

Wait a minute… I know that voice too… I don't suppose Verdandi could have simply taken his image too…

He glanced up towards the voice and saw two triangular cat ears a familiar hair style and a single red eye looking so very amused up in a tree.  
"Hiya Loki." The face appeared and a very bushy purple tail flashed across the branch and the rest of the slender body appeared.

Heimdall was lying on his stomach on the branch, one hand hanging off towards the ground and his legs were crossed, his tail swishing playfully.

"If I didn't know you weren't in your right mind I would so be mocking you right now."  
"Ah… mock if you will. I am in my right mind. But you're in a dress. I just have ears and a tail." Heimdall laughed. Loki twitched and stepped back.

"So you, Narugami, and Kotaru are being bribed?"  
"Where did you get bribed from? Narugami is being blackmailed for upsetting her and Kotaru was just to sidetrack you. He's not really here. But Hel is- oh she asked for this."  
"Then what are _you_ here for?" Loki murmured skeptically.  
Heimdall raised his head thoughtfully and turned over on his back, bending his knees and pulling them up so he could lean his tail against them while petting it.  
"Well, you don't have any proof them I'm actually here- I could be like Kotaru. Or I could be like Naru. Perhaps I am being bribed. But- I'm the Cheshire cat after all. What can you assume from me in the real world? Let alone what you can assume from me as the Cheshire cat." Heimdall grinned, purring slightly before he pulled at his tail and played with it like a ball of yarn- it was long enough for this to be done with out hurting him.

"So in other words… I can't trust a word you say…"  
"Well you can… but you have to pay attention to what you trust and what you don't… Like… I can say…" Heimdall jumped out of the tree, very cat like indeed, and practically floated towards Loki.  
He held up one ungloved hand and lightly grabbed Loki's chin, making sure not to hurt him with his claws.  
"I can say…" He repeated, leaning close enough that Loki could feel his breath, "I love you…"  
Loki choked, his face having already started to turn pink at the simply touch was now a deep crimson. "Wh-"  
Heimdall pulled back suddenly and through laughs stated, "And you would never know if I meant it or not! Because I'm Heimdall and the Cheshire cat in a world Verdandi made to torture people who upset her. Gee… if this is just to torture you… I wonder how you're feeling right now…" The purple cat person grinned and pressed his body up close to Loki's and circled around him, once again, rather cat like.

Loki's face was practically burning and he tried to get away but kept getting circled.

"Anyway…" Heimdall murmured, finally deciding enough was enough and disappearing, reappearing into another tree to take on another laid back yet rather seductive pose as he lay across a branch.  
"If you were wondering…He ran that way…" He said, pointing in a random direction.  
"He?" Loki gasped out, so glad to be in better conditions.  
"The white rabbit."  
"Yamino did?!"  
"Who did?"  
"Yamino."  
"Who's Yamino?"  
"Uh… the white Rabbit?"  
"White rabbit?"  
"But you just said-"  
"Who said?"  
"YOU!"  
"You?"

Perhaps he was too flustered to really get mad… Loki just sighed.

"Can you stand on your head?" Heimdall giggled suddenly.  
It was slightly upsetting to see Heimdall's body _actually_ stand on his head but Loki had to ignore this. Heimdall was the Cheshire cat.  
"Interesting really-"  
"But if I were searching for a white rabbit I'd ask the mad hatter… Well, these are just lines. I wouldn't ask the mad hatter if I were you." Heimdall stated honestly perhaps. Because, while Loki didn't know who everyone's character was, Heimdall did.

"I don't think I want to talk to anyone mad right now…" Loki shook his head.  
Heimdall nodded-his head back on his body.  
"Of course- well, I guess there is the March hare… Now, I'd rather talk to her… but she's really just as bad."  
"I think I'll go to her…"  
"And by just as bad I mean she's mad too."  
"But I don't want to go about mad people!" Loki squeaked desperately. He'd had enough with these weirdos! Heimdall shrugged.  
"Well sucks to be you then. We're all mad here." He smiled and started playing with his tail again. "After all I'm not all here myself." The cat grinned, pieces of him disappearing as he spoke.  
He was humming the odd song he originally been singing until he was nothing but the patronizing smile. Soon that too disappeared and Loki nearly slammed his head into a tree.

"If this continues exactly like the movie I suppose I'll be seeing you later Heimdall." The boy in the maids dress stated with a sigh before walking in a random direction. Who ever he got to first- or, well, by now he was sure they'd be together…  
Now who were they…?  
Who was left? But then… that wasn't going to help… Narugami was used twice…  
_'Well,'_ Loki thought as he heard the familiar music for the 'un-birthday' party, _'time to find out.'  
_--

_Author's note: Ya, I planned on having it simply a one shot… but I really want to start working on Dusk (An original story) before I lose my inspiration and I don't really want to waste my time writing a story no one's gonna read so if you want me to finish it review. K? Good. I'm off to go write.  
Ps. I will always be a HeimdallxLoki fan. :P_


End file.
